Proper Bush Administration Attire
by Keith Shirey
6/1/06


If only Mr. Bush and his foreign policy/war/religio-science  cronies were going off to the local DC garbage dump to toil, or perhaps to work for Tony Soprano, in Waste Disposal in New Jersey, - employment to which they seem so perfectly matched.  But, alas, they are employed in a vastly more important enterprise, that of  devastating the world and transforming it into a massive garbage dump -it is a world of depleted uranium, white phosphorus, unexploded land mines, dead corpses, bodies floating in New Orleans¹ sewage, of completely degraded nature, filthy skies, global warming, species extermination, and, finally of the smoldering remains of the U.S. Constitution and a charred, useless Bill of Rights.  Mr. Bush and his cronies are now well dressed in  their power costumes of black suits and shoes, although Junior also favors custom made military costumes when visiting the troops.  Too bad they aren¹t attired in more appropriate clothes suited to their jobs.

Dr. James Hansen, director of the Goddard Institute for Space Studies at NASA, should be dressed in the white garb a scientist. He is the latest whistle-blower to publicly complain of attempts by those in the Bush administration to silence him on the very disturbing conclusions he is reaching about the speed with which global warming is progressing.  His work was altered by one Philip A. Cooney, an oilman who works in the Bush Administration. Cooney  edited Hansen¹s and other government climate reports to make global warming seem like an uncertainty instead of a scientifically provable reality.  The last time i looked, Mr. Cooney was attired in a suit which probably cost $2,000.  He was looking good!  Shiny black shoes, great tie, etc.  I believe a more appropriate attire for Philip Cooney would be a suit of eight cans of motor oil with, high kinematic viscosity, poured over his entire body (he¹s standing directly below the engine of a car in the oil pit) after an employee of Jiffy Lube has removed the oil drain plug from the oil pan of an ancient, smoking, filthy 1987 Ford, whose engine has been contaminated by oil sludge buildup.  Only then can we see this oily bastard Cooney for what he is.

How one would dress Donnie Rumsfeld is more challenging.  What can one do to portray a man whose arrogance is  outstripped by his incompetence?  I suppose his insolent pride stems from an insulation from reality brought on by excess  power.  Rumsfeld, and other Bushies, are isolated from the real world.  Most of them seem to suffer also from a dangerous imbalance between the heart, mind and the emotions, such as normal feelings of human sympathy. It may be that Rumsfeld¹s sorry condition is complicated by a kind of contagious sociopathology extant in the Bush administration.

What interests me most about Secretary Rumsfeld is the charge by Human Rights First and others that he "authorized an abandonment of our nation's inviolable and deep-rooted prohibition against torture or other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment of detainees in U.S. military custody." The complaint charges that brutal and illegal interrogation techniques were personally approved by Secretary Rumsfeld in December 2002. Those techniques included the use of "stress positions," 20-hour interrogations, the removal of clothing, the use of dogs, isolation, and sensory deprivation.

Although some of these techniques were later rescinded, Rumsfeld personally approved a new list in April 2003, which included dietary manipulation, sensory deprivation and "false flag" (leading detainees to believe that they have been transferred to a country that permits torture). He also made clear that harsher techniques could be used with his personal authorization.

The ACLU and Human Rights First have created a detailed timeline of the various actions that Secretary Rumsfeld took and the points at which he was informed of the abuses that resulted, online at www.aclu.org/rumsfeld and www.humanrightsfirst.org/lawsuit.

So, I suppose, Rummie should be clothed in black rubber or leather attire, with a hood, or some kind of cloth hiding his face, walking a a mad, vicious dog. In the other hand he should be waving the Flag of Jordan (or some other nation where the U.S. Does renditions) and go about babbling, screeching and bellowing to produce such a vivid and startling effect as to induce sensory deprivation in the listener, just as he has so often done to the U.S. Press Corps.

Perhaps the readers of this screed will finish it for me by presenting e-mail suggestions of appropriate clothing for Dick Cheney, Condie Rice and the gang.